It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
