So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
