you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
