Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
