took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize