Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
