there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
