You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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