I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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