She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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