i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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