i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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