Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
