i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
