yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
