Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
