3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
