I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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