Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
