He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
