found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
