I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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