Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
