Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
