Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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