Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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