dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
