Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
this is an emotional support booty call
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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