Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
