Redeem this text for a blowjob
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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