you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
