his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
