she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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