I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
