I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
