Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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