I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
