Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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