I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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