He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
