I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
