My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize