I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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