I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
