My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
