I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
