yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
