Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
