Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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