I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
