I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
