Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
