Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize