and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
