i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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