dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
