Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Terrible idea I love it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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