My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
