Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
