i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
