Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
