Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
